And lo, it came to pass. And it passed. And Christmas became bearable, and then quite cheerful. And there was peace on earth and goodwill to humankind once more. And my sister said she needed to think about the very long letter I wrote to her, the one where I spell out that it's okay to be disabled. And that's progress, believe me. She's thinking. I'm very glad.
You really have my aunt and uncle to thank for this dramatic turnaround in mood (oh, and the fact that I can hold on to a mood at present about as well as an eel in a fast flowing river).
We went to Wiltshire, where naked gardeners live and pigs go on the run from the slaughterhouse. My aunt and uncle are musical types there and are very good at looking after guests, whatever state they arrive in.
My bile was evaporated by good cheer, small acts of kindness (the tea that arrived silently next to my bed when I had all but passed out after finding the journey too much...the Chopin placed on the piano to encourage me to play, alas to no avail but it was the thought) and the large quantities of cordon bleu standard cooking.
It was 24 hours of contentment. And much appreciated. Sadly I am now back in the Midlands. Had I remembered earlier in the week that I was going to Wiltshire, I may never have written Christmas is Bollocks. Which in a way would have been a shame, as I have been humming it on and off in a private joke sort of way. And anyway, I feel that life would be very boring if it were as perfect as life in Wiltshire seems to be all the time. Which is, of course, a complete illusion as my aunt and uncle have just as much to put up with as the rest of us. It's just that they do it in very lovely surroundings.
So yes, for the time being my edges have been softened. And I can daydream about my escape from this complete shithole to delay the return of despondency.
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4 comments:
Naked gardnerers! We don't have those in Philadelphia.
So glad you found some contentment this season.
Me too :-) The naked gardeners have turned into shameless self-publicists. Two tv appearances in under a month, and I caught both of them (one clothed, one unclothed).
When I posted on your "Bollocks" post I hadn't read your post about your sister. Now that I'm caught up, I'm pleased to hear that your sister is reflecting on what you wrote to her. People's fears, misconceptions and ignorance can make for a volatile cocktail that ends up spilling over on those close to them. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with her. It must have hurt so deeply even though it's more about her than you. That's a tender spot she hit. But good on you for writing to her and giving her time to reflect on her own. Here's to more progress on her part this year.
I'm glad you had a slice of contentment. I hope that 2009 brings you more ease and more writing and more photo opportunities. Things like that.
Hmmm, I haven't heard anything from her so I presume it's all been swept under the carpet. Much easier and tidier.
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