It all goes a bit hysterical. Yesterday I got a sudden and vicious infection in my wisdom tooth. It came about because Mr Junior Dentist (the one who blanched at the very sight of me a week or so back) suggested flossing.
Flossing is such a waste of energy. I told him as much. He told me about the miracle that is the electric flossing machine. And so, keen to maintain some level of dental hygiene with or without him (he certainly didn't seem to want to be directly involved) I went and bought one. They're a bit like an electric toothbrush but with a cute little lyre-type attachment that has a little string of floss stretched taught, which vibrates. Mine is called The Hummingbird. This perhaps isn't the best advert for it, so I won't provide a link.
I used it for a couple of days, duly replacing the flossing bit each time, and it dislodged your average oral detritus...the stuff Mr JD should have been tackling in the scale and polish I never had. I found my novel and very tiny humming device kind of fun, and my teeth now feel a lot cleaner. But back at the surgery the dentist also has a blowy machine, a sucky machine and a rinsy machine. I don't. So I can't hoover up like a dentist can and, because my wisdom tooth has erupted and is impacted, it can easily become infected due to the little bit of gum that flaps about collecting whatever comes its way. Yes I was using mouth rinse. But it obviously didn't work. Plus my gums bled. Then it all went pear-shaped.
So, and this will perhaps be a blessing to many, I will be utterly zonked by antibiotics for seven days. Big strong ones. Zzzzzzzz. I will be so stoned when Mr Shiny Shoes psychiatrist is due to try and turn up for our rebooked appointment on Thursday that he'll probably...well I may just cancel this time. I don't see the need to present as utterly catatonic when in reality I'm just slightly, sometimes.
Soon I have to have my wisdom tooth out, because I've gone over the limit of number of infections permitted before extraction (three...I'm on five). And this is the icing on the cake. The dentist I like, who is really calm and experienced and professional and agreed a year ago to take out my wisdom tooth from the relative comfort of his big chair at the surgery...has moved into the lucrative arena of dental implants. So I have to go into hospital where there be student dentists lurking around every corner.
Before I drift off into the realm of the undead I have only one thing left to say.