Monday, 27 August 2007

Scene from an English garden in summer

Yesterday I was out in the garden, in my deckchair. The next minute I was ripping up weeds and chucking things about in a fit of temper. Including the deckchair.
It amused me to read logging on today that there is now a video link on the blogger toolbar for posting clips. If only, I thought, I'd got yesterday's outburst on film. I was wearing my wide-brimmed sunhat and one of those long flappy dresses and was feeling as serene as a Merchant Ivory extra sipping tea. Then my mobile went.
The person who prompted this sudden ill-advised outburst of white rage is several hundred miles away in Cornwall with our son. Nevertheless, and despite our recent separation, he is still able to produce in me an ire that simply cannot be contained. It comes over me like a tornado, and I just thank God we no longer live together, for everyone's sakes.
And so today I find I can hardly move, and I predict it may get worse for a few days, so I thought I'd better post before it really kicks in, even if it's just to say I won't be posting until my pain levels return to tolerable. And that makes me even crosser. More with myself for being so stupid in the garden than anything else.
He will never change because he thinks he is perfect. I can change because I know I am far from perfect. Knowledge is power. Therefore I win. Hah.


Elizabeth McClung said...

Ha indeed! I used to content myself with "I'll outlive them" but I think yours is better.

Frustrating how our body doesn't have little bars that change colours like in video/computer games to show our "energy percent" or "future pain percentage" - I haven't had a fury moment but I've been so happy, happy, I don't care about consequences I put myself in bed for two days.

Hope the pain subsides soon.

marmiteboy said...

Ah you had one that was never wrong did you? I had one of those too and strangely she was wrong and I wasn't.

I'm not bitter though ;-)

Take care

seahorse said...

Elizabeth, I try and think in traffic lights a lot of the time (am I on green, amber or red? Amber being the 'be careful' zone before hitting red, which is pain).
I would love to be so, so happy. It sounds great! And I wouldn't care about the consequences either.

Marmiteboy: I confess I sometimes slip into thinking I am never wrong, but because I know this, I end up knowing I was wrong to think that, which is why I think I have a head start on him in the self knowledge stakes... if that makes any sense. I am still befuddled though able to see the funny side now, as I was at the time although I really did do myself in.
Anger is such a silly emotion really.

Attila the Mom said...

I'm sorry things are feeling---er---rough.

But that sure is a gorgeous pic!

seahorse said...

Attila the mom, thank you. I'm trying to archive my entire collection at the moment, and it seemed to fit the post. Archiving is the sort of thing you do when your brain can't do much else. And it needs to be done. My computer is groaning under the strain. It's quite nice to look at zillions of pictures, even if most of them are of flowers :-)