Friday, 19 October 2007

The Curse of the Irascibles

I know that I have a bad case of The Irascibles when I start swearing at inanimate objects. Recent days have found me cursing and berating:

Fruit: There is a lot of fruit in my life at the moment. Some of it by the law of averages is going to get sworn at.

Blinds: I have never encountered a blind I get on with. It just isn't going to happen.

The corner of the bed: I still haven't mastered the art of not walking into it. Why doesn't it just get out of the sodding way?

My scarf: I trip over it. It is the scarf's fault for being too long.

My hair: On windy days it blows all over the place, gets stuck in my sunglasses and generally makes a bloody nuisance of itself.

My computer: In the course of writing this post I have called it something very rude and told it to piss off twice. It's still here. Masochist.

This sums it all up nicely:


Cusp said...

Bastard things !....all of them

Love the FT clip. We were only watching some old FT videos this p.m...

My son thinks they are hilarious

Ruth said...

This was very funny and I totally relate to having The Irascibles myself on certain days. Hit my head on the rail of my bed while transferring and cursed it before I realized without it there I would have been on the floor. (Don't even ask how I managed to do that.) Still...should be made of a nerf material or something, shouldn't it? :)

Sally said...

I fell out of my car on Saturday, bastard car; I was sat down at the time !
It was my stick's fault. It moved.
Its good to have something inanimate to swear at, don't you think ? To get it out of our system before we interact with living things (fruit doesn't count).

seahorse said...

And today I have been swearing at...blinds, my telephone cos I couldn't find it when it rang, and my cup of tea because I wedged it between two pillows on my bed and it fell over when I moved. Stupid mug.

Cusp: I think a cable channel devoted to FT (despite there only being about 10 episodes) would be fabulous

Ruth: What is it about beds? Maybe a water bed would do less damage. Perhaps I could fill mine with camomile tea and attach a straw to the blowy uppy bit :)

Sally: Quite an achievement re car. Beats my tripping over my scarf. I like this game. Great mental images of ranting, cursing people across the globe. Smiling just picturing these palavers. Fruit does count in my book. Why do you think not?

Jemma Brown said...

This would be the precise reson i had a punchbag! the only problem being that since we moved house (last november) i havnt actully been able to fin dit wich is infurating in its self!

Sally said...

Fruit - it don't need my help to go bad !

seahorse said...

Jemma, how can you lose a punchbag? Indeed, that would make me very liable to punch the nearest thing were I to suffer the same misfortune. The nearest thing at present is a mango.

Sally: Hmmm, interesting point. But I am confused. Inanimate things, ie dead things rot, surely? My dodgy Latin translation of inanima is 'without spirit'. The same follows for insane. 'Without sanity'. Now I may be going mad, but is fruit not technically dead the moment it is picked? I really can't go on making jam if it is still alive. Being boiled, and kept on the boil until you hit 105 degrees C, is a worse fate surely than that of any lobster.

Leigh Russell said...

All this made me laugh and I lost my irascibility at once! Glad I'm not the only one to walk into things - or do they move into my path when I'm looking the other way?

seahorse said...

Leigh: I think things deliberately move themselves into position so they can cause us the most inconvenience. Then, when we are out of earshot, they laugh at us.

Sally said...

Its only fruit !!
Boil it eat it and live.
(you lost me quite early on in your response!)

seahorse said...

Sally, I apologise. I am in a strange mood.

Sally said...

Nah, its me ... today's thought:

Yes, but is it dead ? The fruit off the tree is no longer connected to one source of its life, the tree. But the sun still shines on it !
(will not follow the analogy to animals (meat) and umbilical cords!)

I am reminded of a comment by an organic allotment holder about microwave ovens: they kill the life force in food. So, yes that kinda made sense, in that for zillions of years we have been picking, eating raw, boiling, baking, stewing, fruit and veg; nutritionally doing us good, but then microwaves came along and jumbled up the molecules to create heat to cook them from within the molecules - no apple is going to enjoy that. So I stopped using my microwave oven. Made sense to me.

seahorse said...

Wow. I know microwaves had some bad press a while back but I never knew it was so, well, molecular. So now, when I want a baked potato for lunch I will need to remember to put the oven on at 11, then remember to put the potato in the oven, and remember to take it outa couple of hours's a strange predicament. Nuke your food but remember to eat cos it beeps, or preserve it's goodness but forget all about it til it's cremated :-)