Friday, 28 September 2007

Dental Détente

I am out of zonkdom. It's a temporary reprieve but a welcome one.

Tonight my ex came round and we had a meal and a chat. He came round initially because I had some logistics to discuss. My wisdom tooth has to come out. This means I have to go to my Mum's to recuperate during term time. This is a problem, though not an insurmountable one. I need my ex to completely take over care of my son for a while. It seemed polite to run it past him. And in the end, we both gained a lot from having to spend an evening together. It's the first time we've really talked since we split up. Now we know something of what the other has been going through there's possibly a move towards détente. You can't stay at war forever, and this has been a very cold war. Icy hearts, huge walls, the odd missile crisis and far too much tension. Now, and only now, it seems we can talk. Yes, a dental crisis precipitated the shift but so what? At least we're talking. We may as well make the most of it before I find myself unable to talk at all.

My last extraction took a month to get over. The tooth in question shattered in my mouth, leaving the dentist with very little to grip on to. There was a subsequent infection and dry socket (where a clot doesn't form properly and the hole doesn't heal) all of which means I totally don't remember last July. Except that I missed a wedding.
This wisdom tooth, well to be honest it is a right sod. It's impacted under the jawbone, near a facial nerve and in need of cutting into four pieces to remove, after they have sawn off a chunk of my jaw. I knew this four years ago when it first flared up. Then I got ill and surgery kept being put off, because I just wasn't up to it and I had a choice to delay, which I am thankful for.
The thing is with chronic long term conditions is that other stuff still comes along. Life is like that. I could at least postpone this for a few years. I couldn't do the same with tube-feeding or other emergency treatment that just had to go ahead. I got through all that. I will get through this.

My son gets to stay with his Dad for three weeks, maybe longer. My ex, thankfully, has the option to work from home in times of crisis, freeing him up to get to school. They will watch action films and Dr Who replays, batter the playstation, run riot and generally have a ball. Ralph...hmmm. Suggestions welcome. He would hate a cattery, but I have pet insurance which may cover 'emergencies'. Depends what they think of my health, as I am pretty much uninsurable now. But we're talking about his insurance, his boarding fees, albeit because of my emergency.

Son happy, cat sorted, I can retreat to my Mum's and hole myself up until I've healed. My immune system, whilst not great, is better than when I weighed next to nothing. Part of the decision to act now is because I am in relatively ok shape for me, and still ultimately have to tackle my medication conundrum. I can't embark on that with major dental work hanging over me. So on October 9, all being as well as it can be, out it comes. And off I will go.

I have a week and a half to forward plan. I can use this time to:
  • Take my son out to see a film, maybe go to the park, take him skateboarding
  • Enjoy autumn in some small way before I am in bed recuperating
  • Compile a list of very funny films to rent from Amazon's DVD rental service - I will be setting up a list to deliver to my Mum's address, and will leave it in place for her. She needs some laughs too at the moment.
  • Gather thoughts on what reading matter will help for when I'm in bed. Big, beautiful picture books for starters. Gardening books. I can manage a short visit to the library and stock up before I go.
  • Borrow a friend and do some emergency bulb planting quick. I need to see crocuses, snowdrops, daffodils and tulips in my garden next Spring.
This autumn I was going to go to parent's evening, do something nice for my ex as an olive branch for his 40th, and make rosehip jelly. I was going to have tea and cakes with my son at a cafe after school for half an hour once a week. I was going to expand my interest in photography, get into the software, take pictures of autumn, sort out my Flickr page. I was going to go to the Botanical Gardens and enjoy the sting in the air, the tingle on my nose, the sun on rich-red leaves.

Autumn now has to be condensed into ten days. Well so be it.

Bring it on.


Cusp said...

Well as someone who also has big problems withe the old 'dentals' but also has a suportive partner at home and two kids I think you're bloody brave and sorted.

My last extraction (2 years ago) took me nearly 3 months to recover from (right into the summer hols --nice !). There was an awful lot of disbelief from my GP and whispers of 'mountains out of molehills'. I still have two teeth to be extracted and I dread it: not so much the procedure itself but the recovery period. You really are to be applauded for taking it all so methodically and calmly.

Incidentally, despite the long recovery period (due mainly to bad reaction to anaesthetic) what really helped was homoepathic treatment. If you know a good homeopath go and get a 'dental pack' for extractions. If not, at least take arnica and hypericum before and immediately after and for about 3 days afterwards. It really helps with the bruising and general pulling about. In addition, ask for a non-adrenaline injection at the dentist: but I expect you know that bit.

Good luck.

seahorse said...

No, I didn't know any of that so cusp thanks so much (again) :)
I always thought that as I'm on prescription meds homeopathic remedies wouldn't work. Maybe I should ask a homeopath first before drawing my own conclusions.

D Phoenix said...

I know what you mean about putting stuff off while coping with the general demands of chronic illness. But other things do come up and we have to find the energy to deal. I figure if you can face this big extraction then I should get my act together a do a wee little crown and a cleaning!

I hope your condensed Fall goes well. Nice pix, as always!

seahorse said...

Donimo, if your crown is really essential then yes, go for it. And a clean just makes your mouth feel better. But only if you can face it, and you, like me (up til now anyway) do have a choice. I tend to see everything that isn't directly to do with making life better for me and my son as non-essential. It's a great way of simplifying things. I've also learned to delegate so very stressful stuff tends to be dealt with by my advocate, who is a star. Thanks for stopping by and offering your always valued encouragement.
I'm working my way through my to do list and so far it's going okay.