Sunday, 20 July 2008

The Bitter Truth

Sometimes the truth hurts. This is going to cause a big collective Ouch! or possibly a Meeeow! It contains a valid point though so I'm posting it.

My ex is as I write still caught in what must surely be one of the biggest traffic jams ever known, trying to extricate himself and our son from a festival site. I was low on sympathy and big on self-pity today as I was looking forward to spending some time with our son on his return. Instead he's spent nine hours stuck in a campsite. And I've been stuck indoors wishing I was there.

So the texts were flying. I was annoyed, we both became unreasonable. I knew it wasn't, and still isn't my ex's fault. So what made me text the following? It was like a lightning bolt of pure truth blew the rest of our squabbles away:

"The huge irony is that had you learned to deal with me being disabled we'd have hired a camper van, been able to park in the disabled area and been one of the first out. Serves you right. Ha."

And they call Disability Bitch a bitch? You know what though? He texted back:

"Thanks. Fair enough. Some truth in that."
The truth really can hurt but even as I type it still rings truer than true. Would I have seen much of the festival had I gone? That's not the point. I would have been there because my ex accepted my disability and wanted me to be part of something, however much or little I actually ventured from the camper van of my dreams. Right, back to sulking. Not the best of days for any of the former members of our fractured little family.


The Goldfish said...

Sorry you've had such a crap day. But good that perhaps this squabble brought about a little break-through (or revealed a break-through had taken place). Hope today is a better day.

D Phoenix said...

Truths sometimes come out sharply and it's not a pretty thing. I can see how that one flew from your fingertips. I'm sorry you had to go through a crappy day, but I hope that your ex's response indicates that he understands things a bit better now. I wonder if the two of you will be able to talk about it in person.

I feel for you. I know you can see how things could have been for your family, and that's tough.

Cusp said...

Well at least he was big enough to admit it.

The stinging retort is something we've all come out with when the frustration and bitterness rises to the surface. We can't be all- accepting and gracious all the time and in this instance you were all in very frustrating circumstances. Cut yourself some slack. I'm all for having a good sulk and moan --- get it out of your system and then move on.

Does seem there's some kind of lesson/breakthrough been reached.


seahorse said...

Goldfish: Perhaps...I think it'll take a long time, possibly never, for true enlightenment to happen.

Donimo: Yes, it can be hard knowing I'm single largely because of someone's total rejection of disability. But at least I'm single with pride intact, rather than still with him and suffering silently.

cusp: It had to be said. And I'm glad I did. No guilt actually, after a few days' reflection. Anyway, I get to do some stuff with our son now which redresses the balance somewhat.

Anonymous said...